LOVE/SELF-HELP/COMPASSION

It’s crazy how a moment in time can change the course of an entire family.

Them Before Me is the story of a child innocently born into a family living in emotional chaos. Nancy’s parents lived in the shadow of historical trauma from immigration, family deaths, abuse, and divorce, and were unable to deliver the parental structure and dependable love this child so desperately needed. Events beyond all their control, together they were led down a path of intergenerational loss, grief, and pain.

From a very young age, bewildered and concerned, and with the monumental challenge to live a normal childhood, Nancy somehow still managed to see her world as a glass-half-full. As her heart expanded, she found her way to a place of genuine compassion and forgiveness, which led her to live out of earnest gratitude and unfeigned love. She managed to turn hardship into opportunity, until she found herself living a self-fulfilled life of meaning and joy, one that she lives today.

As Nancy put her personal puzzle pieces together, although often painful and heartbreaking, but totally worth the journey, telling her story of Them Before Me was a gift. Not just for herself, but for those who need the permission and tools to find their own paths of healing their hearts and souls.

ACCOLADES

"Love can ultimately triumph over trauma -- Filled with authenticity and heart, Them Before Me left me pondering my own family history and its impact on my life. Thank you, Nancy."

-- Lee Unkrich, Academy Award winning director of Pixar's Coco

"Nancy assertively reminds us, in such an eloquent, loving, sad and deeply painful, and yet still joyful manner, that while each of us has our own unique journey, we are all the same in so many fundamental ways. Her gift of getting things right for so many others transformed into the gift of getting things right for herself. In so doing, she boldly makes such a journey accessible to her audience.”

- Dr. Mike Rimm, Psychiatrist

“​​Through my nearly 30 years of friendship with Nancy, I have seen her demonstrate, over and over again, the power of compassion, generosity, honesty, and lovingkindness. In her courageous words of self-reflection, Nancy once again displays her boundless capacity to rise above life’s challenges and find humanity, humility, and growth in each situation and relationship. She challenges each of us to live with curiosity and positivity while finding the clarity and strength to forgive and evolve. This is certainly the essence of what it means to be human."

- Rabbi Stacy Friedman

"Nancy's life story is unique, yet has universal value for all readers. She shares many hard-won lessons in how to transform painful memories and promote healing by viewing them through the lens of forgiveness and love.”

- Christina Brod

"Families -- mystifying, clarifying, infuriating, comforting, insidiously in our psyches and clutching at our hearts; the enigma we spend a lifetime sorting; none of it is off limits in this brave, open-hearted memoir of one woman's attempt to make meaning of her own complex and fascinating family, especially as it relates to the tragic death of her precious sister. Nancy Pechner's story, at once unique and universal, is a compelling read for anyone who has ever struggled to make sense of the people which, while shaking our heads, we call family.”

- Dr. Ken Travers, M.D.